There were two whales swimming around the ocean one day when one whale said let's have some fun.

A ship was sailing above them so they decided to tip it over by blowing huge airbubbles through their blowholes.

All the men on the ship flew into the water. The first whale said let's eat them.

The second whale replied "Look the blowjob was fun but there's no way in hell i'm swallowing any seamen."

A man who lived in an apartment was down at the shipyards and met an old sailor who needed some money badly and offered to sell his talking parrot. The man bought the parrot and the sailor left on the next ship.

When he got home and presented this parrot to the wife and kids, all it would say in a loud hoarse voice was " Auk, Auk, lets make love, lets have sex baby, Auk."

Severely embarrassed and afraid the neighbors would complain to the landlord who would evict him under Section 64 of the Tenant Protection Act, for disturbing the other tenants despite Section 15 which made no pets clauses in a lease unenforceable. Not wanting a N5 form served on him, he asked the wife what to do.

She remembered that their minister also had a talking parrot who always said in a soft voice, more like the cooing of a dove, " Auk, let us bow our heads and pray, Auk."

They called the minister to see if they could put the two parrots together and hope that some good would rub off onto the sailor's parrot. The minister agreed.

When the two parrots met, the dirty old parrot said, "Auk, lets make love, let's have sex baby, Auk."

The ministers parrot responded with, "Auk, my prayers have been answered!"